Cultural Lesson

Breathless, spiritless, thief, and foreigner are all words that define the Hawaiian word "Haole" (pronounced how-lee). The origins of the word go back to the first Caucasians who came to the island and would not engage in the Polynesian greeting of touching nose to nose. It has since been used in years as a racially derogatory word for those with white skin and has been a cornerstone of hate crimes. (There was actually a "Kill Haole Day" tradition in the schools where non-white children would assault white children.) The word has taken on a variety of contexts but has a more common and "accepted" use today to describe those of us mainlanders who move over to the islands and have no idea what we are getting ourselves into.

There is no way to escape the "Haole" title. You can run from it or you can hide from it but no matter what you do or how long you live here, you are still a Haole. The best thing to do is to embrace it and work with it. The other thing you must do is to find ways to educate yourself about Hawaiian culture so you don't continuously disrespect others due to your own unfortunate ignorance.

In my work on Maui I have the chance to work with locals (families who have lived here for a long, long, time). I get to go into their homes, eat their food, hold their babies, and be a part of their lives. This has given me occasion to learn a lot about cultural norms and has given me equal occasion to make a lot of mistakes. I find myself saying "no disrespect" and "sorry" a lot.

I would like to give some pointers to those of you who plan to visit Maui and who may stray from the tried and true tourist locations. This list is only the beginning. Like I said: you can't help but be a Haole. Embrace it, love it and follow this list to avoid any major guffaws.

First off: always take your shoes off before going inside a home. Even if they tell you you don't have to. Even if your feet stink. Even if it is going to take you an hour because you have those cute little sandals with all the belts and buckles and whistles on them. Stop and take them off.

Second: always give a hug and kiss a cheek upon meeting someone new or upon greeting someone. This is a hard one for us Haole's who are concerned about our personal space. I personally love touching people (that sounds weird) as a form of greeting so have no problem with this.

Third: Respect! Never forget that you are visiting someone else's home, even when you are walking the shops of Wailea or cruising at the beach. You may be on vacation and having a "faaaaaaabulous time" without a care in the world but others are simply trying to pay their bills and put food on the table. You think it's expensive to go visit Hawaii? Try living here and raising your children here and taking care of your elderly parents here. Most people on Maui have two jobs. Client's always ask me what my other job is. It is a way of life. So next time you go buy groceries and the checker smiles at you, smile back and offer them up respect anyway you can. When you are driving down the road and you see a stunning sunset try finding a shoulder to pull off on before getting the camera out. It may seem quite natural to stop in the middle of a highway to look at the beautiful ocean but for the five cars behind you who are already late to work… not so beautiful.

The truth is that everyone on Hawaii is a "Haole" of some variety, even the most local of locals (I hope I don't get killed for saying this). The only true "Hawaiians" were the Menehune people who were wiped out when the first settlers came from the Marquesas Islands and then from Tahiti. All of these Haoles came to Hawaii and new they found something amazing, a paradise. So enjoy yourself here. We are all just visitors. No matter how long you plan to stay, whether it's a week, a year or a lifetime, never forget to stop and smell the warm tropical air or scarf down a fresh lilikoi you snagged from the side of the road. Get your body in the ocean as much as you can and take yourself for a walk through some bamboo. Just take your shoes off when you come back. Kisses!